The day my kid got his first tablet, I am saying first, because you know these things do not last, was a perfect day.
So, today, my 3 years old boy got his tablet, it wasn’t something he asked for or something he has seen at other kids and decided he should definitely have one. No. Just the parents decided it is time to stop harassing mom’s old laptop and get the kid his own device. After his nap, we surprised him with this great invention, but the only reaction he had, was a smile. I mean the kids these days don’t even get surprised anymore with such gifts. I guess he was trying to say “wow another device to destroy or huh, is this a new phone? because i have moms already…”.
Anyway, the family picture right now looks this way: the kid is absorbed into the tablet, asking from time to time for snacks, I got my rights on my very own old laptop and the father is in front of his computer, playing wow (nothing changed here).
So, there are some advantages getting the kid his own device:
- first of all, no more violence ))) I mean I had to fight for the laptop, sometimes ))
- everyone is happy
- more free time for mommy
- you can take it anywhere
And finally, our kid does not spend his entire day with the tablet, he goes to kindergarden and also thank God for this invention.
We live in a world where:
- a 30 years old woman is taking make-up classes from a 15 years old boy from Alabama, on Instagram
- an 8-hour office is old-style and online sales of a lip pump is so freaking cool
- women refuse to have children because they don’t have time for the little nipple suckers
- fewer kids go to college because they are memes experts
- we make lame stories, bestsellers and then spend more money to watch the movie based on that, still lame, story.
- we still cannot understand why two women or two men can have a great life together.
- people can take photos of everything, expect of ….nothing…there is no mystery anymore.
- we believe in green vegetables, which come in a plastic box from China.
- we give to a 2 years old kid, a tablet, as a gift, so that the mommy can have free time for the Instagram stories.
- grammar rules are for pussies, ’cause u aint real dis way.
- we still buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like. (Fight Club).
Soon my son will be 3 years old. Now I can say that these were the fastest passing by years. I always thought that university was quick, but no, watching a kid grow is like flashing moments and wow we need bigger clothes.
Some of the rules I have learned during these time:
– your kid is the best in the world, even if he is constantly an asshooole
– you can never love your child too much
– never buy clothes that fit him just right, you’ll need bigger ones in a week
– never cook more, hoping he will eat more. He doesn’t and will throw all away.
– do not buy small toys, by the age of 3. not only because he can choke but also because you will step on them all the time.
– do not buy noise toys, they teach nothing just make you angry.
– let you kid eat by himself only when he is ready, 1 years old cannot control themselves
– let him play outside
– do not make the child’s room a sauna
– kids love sweets but teach them to wash teeth
– no Lego by the age of 5
– always keep the medicine hidden
– do not smoke in front of them
– play with them don’t just pretend to do it or staying in your phone
– let them play alone, they need space as much as adults
– no lies, after the age of 3, he understands more than you know
– explain things, do not make him shut up every time he asks something.
– be patient, he will ask the same thing 1000 times
– enjoy every moment around him
Being a parent is very hard, but also it teaches you to be kind, play, smile and always be grateful.
- Ohhh, i will never let my kid do this and how can you let him dress like that..
- I think you should let the kid cry, this way he will understand that he was wrong…
- Why don’t you take a part time job, while on your maternity leave?
How many times have you received “good parenting advises” from friends who don’t even consider having kids any time soon.
Being the only mom in a group of single-still engaged-freshly married girlfriends is hard and funny. Funny, because hearing someone, who had 2 martinis after some draft beer, telling you that parenting is so easy and I should not make such a big deal of it, is hilarious. How, how can this lady give me advises, when she babysit for an hour, once, 10 years ago. The only advice I can accept from her is where I can find the best sales or how to make margaritas using only vodka.
Also, it is hard to have girlfriends which are still size 2 and continue dating like they are 21, it is hard to explain to them, that any plans you make now, on how to be the best mom, will crash eventually. She’s convinced that reading “What to expect, when you’re expecting” is more than enough to raise a child. Good luck and see you on the other side of maternity island!
Meanwhile, it is hard to keep up the outfits they are wearing, because you only know the best places to buy organic food and big boxes of diapers. You thing that leggings and a large flower blouse with your old nikes is a fabulous outfit.
I never had the chance to give parenting advises, as I was the first to have a child in our group and I don’t consider myself the best mom but I can change a diaper and put the baby to sleep faster than you’ll make your margarita using only vodka.
So, please do not teach a mother, how to do things, until you’ve had a little one of your own, smiling at you every morning.
How often do you think of your child as “Wish we had you a little later”, “Because of you, bye-bye career ” or ” Now I have to wait till you go to sleep, to have that glass of wine”. If you don’t have these thoughts, you are not lucky, you’re just ignoring them.
If you had your kids in your 20’s, your life is so much different than it could have been. At the beginning, you are so enthusiastic and feeling blessed (it really is) but then you have your shirt painted red and nothing clean to go to the work in the morning. And the next morning you see that the dog is eating out of your favorite mug, because you know, he asked for it. Suddenly your wife’s texts are all about diapers, formula, wine and tampons and you think where are those long, hot midnight msg? And forget about crazy monkey sex, now its just quickies so we could get enough sleep. In the same time, you start speaking sarcasm as a native language. Your kid is wearing the pot as a hat and you don’t mind because you have the same hat. Grandma doesn’t have to know about the missing china, she already knows about the expensive glasses she found in the washing machine. And actually, you are so happy when she agrees to babysit, so you have finally the chance to open that bottle of whiskey and eat with your both hands.
There will be many days when you think “Why, why didn’t I use a condom that night” but then you see that little kid peeing on its own and you start feeling blessed and enthusiastic and really, really lucky.